Table of Contents
About Jeff & I
Total Failure ?
Ladies, if you are new to the Internet or computing you must put your
cursor (the little arrow thing) on the underlined words to go to the appropriate
Below you will find several links to other sites and resources that may
help you with the natural issues that can overwhelm after the loss of your
spouse. Go slow and don't make large decisions right after the death of your
spouse. Make sure and surround yourself with trust worthy people after such a
trauma. It is too easy to "let" someone take over and then find yourself in a
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New! PDF version of the
"Widow's Might" newsletter.
Feel free to print and distribute to widows and those caring for widows.
New! I've added scriptures for loneliness
and fear at the bottom of this page. Meditate on them when they come to
haunt you. When you know faith has come, then speak to the adversary with
those scriptures and take authority over them. Success. Don't forget
to go to the prayer page and send me a prayer
request. I do my best to answer the same day I receive the requests, but I
may take longer as I seek the Lord's word for you. Peace my sister.
New! When your husband was alive he
did all the bookwork and you haven't a clue how to balance a checkbook.
Here's a tutorial to help. You must have Adobe
Acrobat Reader to view this page.
New! Social Security widows and widowers
benefit booklet. You only have
three years to collect your check for $255.00 so make sure and get to your
Social Security office within after your husband passes. You must have
Adobe Acrobat Reader to view this. The link is included. Also available in
Spanish. (En espanol tambien.)
New! Contact the
Social Security website. You can reach their
800# at 1-800-772-1213 or if you are deaf or hard of hearing you can use their
TTY from 7:00AM to 7:00PM at 800-325-0778. Their
AARP's website with widow and widower benefit information.
The Father has been speaking new things to me and one of those things is to
reach out to the widow's in the body of Messiah. I have only been a widow
for a few seconds when my husband was electrocuted and killed. By the
grace of God he was sent back to me, but that doesn't mean that I'm to withhold
my hand and heart from those of you who have sent your husbands on to heaven.
I pray that this page and subsequent others the Father gives me will minister to
your hearts. (This was written long before I lost my husband for good
September 25, 2012.)
Let's begin at the beginning. When a woman marries she signs up for
life. Many of you were surprised by the deaths of your husband. You
may be a little angry at God because you were expecting to go first.
Problem is we can't see the end from the beginning and the end of life doesn't
happen as we might anticipate. So don't think you're unusual in any way.
My son died unexpectedly 23 years ago. We woke up one morning and found
him dead in his bed. I do understand the loss of life and dreams.
Many of you may feel very cheated that you didn't get to spend your golden years
with the man you love. Many of you are still recuperating from the
exhaustion of nursing a husband who had a long drawn-out sickness. Some of
you may feel some resentment because of all the care he got and now there's no
one to care for you. This too is very normal. Some of you are
feeling the pressure of having no finances and no where to turn. Our
husbands don't always see the need to prepare for us, and that can cause some
scary circumstances and of course resentment and bitterness. Some of you
are worn out and sick yourselves from being left alone or from caring for a sick
husband 24/7 without any help. There are a million other scenarios I could
paint. Probably the most common thing that I've seen in ministering to
widows is the lack of motivation towards life. As a starting place I
believe I shall begin there. I anticipate lots of interaction with you as
you share your stories as well. You have lots of feelings and not many
people to share them with. Your children don't always want to listen,
besides they are dealing with the loss of a parent as well as being busy with
lives of their own. We will begin with the lack of motivation and approach
some answers that may just help you where you are at right this moment.
- Cure for no motivation: Guess what? God knew before you were
ever thinking about being married, just how long your spouse would live.
He wasn't surprised by his homecoming. He hasn't forgotten you and he
isn't through with you. God has a plan for your life just where you're
at, you simply have to realize that and make the decision to seek his face
until you hear where to go. Hint: He will have you reach out to
someone who is going through what you've already experienced. 2 Cor. 1
tells us that He comforts others with the comforts he has already sent our
way. If you believe in Yeshua (Jesus) as your savior and have made him
Lord of your life, you have a job to do. There is no shirking that duty
just because hubby is gone. You can't sit at his grave all day and mourn
and get your job done. You also can't hide in your home and feel sorry for
yourself and your situation. This may seem like a slap in the face, but
I want to reach into your hearts and pull you out of self pity and grief.
These are successful destructive forces sent to you that have already killed more
widows than any sickness and disease ever thought of killing. God has a
job for you and it would be a real shame for you to quit working and sit
around and do nothing for 10, 20 or even more years. It would also be a
shame to hear him say "well?" rather that "well done thou good and faithful
servant". So what do you do? Get in the word, fast, and pray until
you hear what he says. Keep your eyes and ears open. If you find
yourself reaching the hearts of someone out there, you may just have stumbled
across your work. Get busy soldier.
12 The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree: he shall grow like a cedar
13 Those that be planted in the house of the LORD shall flourish in the courts
of our God.
14 They shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be fat and
15 To shew that the LORD is upright: he is my rock, and there is no
unrighteousness in him.
- Dig into bedrock. You have much to give the body of Messiah.
You have years of experience and you have wisdom. What are you doing
with your resources? Are you burying them? Are you sharing them?
Are you saying things like "Nobody wants what I have". Those are not
faith filled words. Did you know that the words "widow" or "widows" are
mentioned 82 times in the King James bible? You have not been forgotten,
but have you forgotten God while you were sorrowing. God knows about
sorrow and he tells us to "cut it out". Mourning is normal, but should
come to an end. You can spend time sulking or you can get in the word
and find out just what God has to say to the widow. You have promises to
claim and believe for. The word should be the bedrock of your existence
whether your husband is there or not. If you find your bedrock in the
word, you will be able to face the storms of life. You have examples of
other widows who received great miracles from God. Get in the word and study
about these widows. Here are few widows I can think of that can reach
out to you and touch your heart.
- Widow with two sons about to be sold into slavery
- Widow who cast her living into the treasury
- Anna the prophetess who ministered at the temple
- Many others
- The just shall live by faith. It's time to begin acting out
what you find in the word. You still have a God who is capable of doing
the impossible. You need to find out his will for your life and then act
upon it. If he has you teach younger woman, then begin finding and
teaching younger women. If he has you praying and fasting, then begin
doing just that. There are so many things widows are supposed to do, so
go do them!
- Dealing with anger and bitterness. One of the normal
reactions to the death of a spouse is anger at God for allowing it to happen.
This is basically manifested in self pity. Self pity keeps your eyes off
of God and onto self. Another place that anger focuses on is the spouse.
It's also normal to be angry at your spouse for leaving you. Some
spouses even leave without any preparation for their partners. This can
exaggerate an already tough situation. This is when one needs to press
into the word and find answers to getting needs supplied. Whatever the need
may be, there are promises to deal with those needs. Just like anyone
else a widow is responsible to God for how she stands on the word. The
sooner the word is put into practice, the sooner the situation can be turned.
The word tells us all to "be angry and sin not". Our focus should be on
the adversary and destroying his works. He is responsible for killing,
destroying and stealing from all of us. God didn't kill your spouse,
he's been sitting in the heavens since the beginning of time resting from his
work. He isn't without love for you or compassion for your situation, he
sent his son to deal with death, hell and he grave. It's the adversary
that took your husband. One of my favorite examples of this truth is
when John the Baptist was murdered. Yeshua was so saddened by this mess
that he wanted to go off to a quiet place and mourn. But the people
followed him and pressed him for their needs. It was the spirit of
compassion welling up within him that caused him to get his eyes of self and
to feed the five thousand and healed the sick. He could have been angry
at the death of his cousin and expressed his anger by blaming God.
Instead he pressed in to destroy the works of Satan. This is how we
should be when we have to live through really tough situations. The
sooner we get our eyes off of self and onto the needs of others, the sooner
we'll be over the hard times in front of us.
If you need prayer for anything at all, I can be reached at the address
below. Why not share your story? I won't use your name unless you
want me to. Also, please share this site with other women. The more
who know about it the more that can be ministered to.
Here are a list of some scriptures that can help you get through the times
when loneliness hits.
- John 14:18 I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
- Isaiah 58:9 Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer, thou shalt
cry, and he shall say. "Here I am".
- Isaiah 43:4 Since thou wast precious in my sight, thou hast been
honorable, and I have loved thee.
- 2 Corinthians 6:18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall by my sons
and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
- Genesis 28:15 And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all
places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I
will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.
- Colossians 2:10 And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all
principality and power.
- Psalm 40:17 But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh upon me: thou
art my help and my deliverer; make no tarrying, O my God.
- Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
When fear comes:
- 1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
- Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto
thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall
direct thy paths.
- 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power,
and of love, and of a sound mind.
- Isaiah 14:3 The Lord shall give thee rest from thy sorrow, and from thy
fear, and from the hard bondage where thou wast made to serve.
- Isaiah 43:2 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou