What G-d Expects

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It seems that both men and women are ignorant of what God expects of the husband. It gets clearer and clearer with each email I receive from hurting wives and husbands that biblical instruction is a thing of the past. It's just assumed that once the wedding rings are in place and the guests are gone that marriage has happened and "they lived happily ever after". Not long after reality gets a good clean hold of the situation and takes a huge bite. Marriage is life long and is constantly under attack by seen and unseen forces. One of the greatest enemies to marriage is ignorance of mutual responsibilities. On this page we will deal with biblical instruction in marriage for the man. There is no way to put all the scriptures that deal with marriage and the man's part in this God ordained relationship, but we will explore a foundation to begin to build upon.

First let me warn all you wives out there. I do NOT list these verses and this information for you to wave it in your husband's face. The first thing I will say is that it is NOT your job to teach your husband anything. God is man's teacher so STOP and take a few moments resist the overwhelming temptation to say, "I told you so". I will be the first to tell you that that is NOT the way to win over your disobedient or uninformed husbands.

1 Peter 3:1-4
3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2 While they behold your chaste conversation (What does chastity mean? How much sex does a chastity belt allow? NONE. So chaste conversation means the same thing only in the realm of instruction or conversation. NONE.) coupled with fear (reverence).

3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
 

Our job is not to teach our husbands, but silence will cause your man to be able to hear God's voice. If he's hearing your voice (and I can assure you when you nag or attempt to teach your husband he isn't listening) he won't be hearing God's voice. So silence is your power tool when things aren't going well and your husband isn't obeying God.

Now for the men. Sometimes just having a list of things you should be doing or should NOT be doing can be helpful. I will follow up the list with scriptures that back up what is said here. In the mouth of two or three witnesses every word shall be established. I will do my best to find at least two references for each thing.

  • Husbands should be willing to teach their wives spiritual things at home (wives should be with husbands in the congregation as well.) 1 Corinthians 14:35 & Ephesians 5:22-26
  •  Husbands lead and direct their wives with love and compassion. Titus 2:5 & Ephesians 5:22-26
  • Husbands are responsible to God for their wives. 1 Peter 3:1
  • Husbands are to honor their wives and show them benevolence. 1 Corinthians 7:3 & Ephesians 5:25 & Colossians 3:19 & 1 Peter 3:7
  • Husbands are to work together with their wives. We are not in a competition against one another, but to be co-heirs of the grace of salvation. 1 Peter 3:7 & Ephesians 5:25-33
  • Husbands are going  to care for and please (excite her in the emotion realm) their Godly wives first and then  God in order to please God. 1 Corinthians 7:33 & Mark 10:7 & Genesis 2:24 (This truth is hard to swallow, but consider that Adam spoke this of Eve in the garden of Eden. Who was his Father? God. He left his Father and Mother to cleave to his wife. This is the picture of Christ and his called out believers as well.)
  • Husbands are to have power and authority over their wives body. This means they can decide to be intimate. It means they must pray over their wives bodies to keep them free of illness or demonic attack. It means that they care for their wives flesh. Ephesians 5:27 & 1 Corinthians 7:4
  • Husbands are to love their wives like they love themselves. This means men need to know how to love themselves enough to be able to love their wives. If they don't love themselves it will manifest in how they treat their wives. Ephesians 5:25 & 33 & Colossians 3:19
  • Husbands are to see the Lord and what he did and is doing for the Body as their example of how to treat and live with a wife. Ephesians 5:25 &
  • Husbands are to recognize and see their wives as finer and less strong vessels (an integral part of his life). Just as you wouldn't toss around an ultra fine piece of art or glass, so is the wife to be to the husband. 1 Peter 3:7 & Ephesians 5:23->
  • The husband is supposed to trust and be able to trust his wife. Proverbs 31:11 & Ephesians 5:25, Colossians 3:19 (To love her is to trust her.)
  • The husband is to have power over his wife. Genesis 3:16 & Ephesians 5:23
  • The husband is to cover and protect his wife. Ephesians 5:23 & 1 Corinthians 11:10
  • The believing husband is to sanctify the unbelieving wife. 1 Corinthians 7:14
  • The husband is to rule well in his own home. 1 Timothy 3:2 & Titus 1:6
  • Now you go find some verses and truth for yourselves as well.