Table of Contents
About Jeff & I
So you have a husband who hasn't the least desire to serve God.
Perhaps your husband is a believer but is involved in things you know by the
word are ungodly. What can you do? First realize there are answers
and they are all based upon love. I know women who start out in a marriage
loving their husbands, but allow a root of bitterness to creep in because their
husbands aren't the "dream dates" they thought they'd won. I
also know women who married to escape less than desirable conditions at
home. Then there is the lost woman who marries a lost man and then she
receives the L-rd. All of these are hard situations, but not
impossible. The word "with God nothing is impossible" works in
every case! Ideally we find the man that God wants, or he finds us and we
marry and live lives of righteousness. Ok, now that we've dealt with
fantasy we can go onto reality. Even in the best relationships there are
problems, but the same answers that save good marriages can save not-so-good
When my husband and I went through our rockiest years I discovered by time in
the word and with the Father that I needed to take part in my marriage.
Marriage isn't a passive spectator sport, you have to get in and play the game
to get the final cup. You may have to watch a few football games, you may have to
visit hardware stores, you may have to fish in rain with mosquitoes as your closest
companions, you may even have to take the kids to events alone and even deal with surgery
alone. Some women are blessed to have husbands who are part of their lives
in every aspect, others prefer to do things alone from time to time.
Whatever the case, there are loads of adjustments and compromises that have to
be made in marriage relationships. By making the decision to do the things
the word commands and suggests, we can build our homes as wise women of God.
Big Tip: TV, Hollywood, the movies are all fantasy, fake, not
real and only "based" on real life. DO NOT believe everything
you see or hear on that "boob tube" (as my dad always calls it).
TV is for amusement, and one definition of amusement is "entertainment
without the mind." Most of the world of media is an attempt to sell
you what they believe you want or need. It's based upon the love of money
and we as believers in Yeshua are to love God and not love money. Money is
a tool, and we should no more love it than we would love a spatula or hammer.
1 Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
I've had to put this one into practice in my home over and over.
Women hear from God and when they do, they may discover that their husbands
don't believe what they have learned. By taking your
"discovery" to the Father and staying silent, we can win our
husbands over to the Lord. Many women believe they should teach
their husbands new spiritual truths, but I find no place in God's word that
instructs women to teach their hubbies. If a man is listening to his
wife he can't hear God. I for one want my husband to hear God and
direct the steps of our home.
This scripture not only belongs to husbands who are saved, but to ones who
are not saved. By saved, I mean those who believe in Yeshua and his
life, death and resurrection. If you are married to an unbeliever, you
really need to put this scripture into practice. There are many things
you can do as a believing wife, because you never know when your husband may
receive the correction of God and turn to him! Silence is truly
golden, if you act on what you read in the word. There is an
actual language of silence. When done purposefully it can change your
situation. When God instructs us to be silent, it is for our benefit.
So learn to put this new "language" into practice.
Subjection or submission isn't the awful thing that you think it is.
Submission to God's word and His will will put you into a higher realm
"spiritually speaking". Submission is recognizing that God
had a plan by creating man and taking woman from man. His plan wasn't
to make us subordinate, but to be partners in taking dominion of this
planet. Yeshua showed us the power of submission by submitting to the will
of God. He laid down his life, his plan, to even speaking his own
words and took up God's will and God's plan. We see him in the garden
of Gethsemane "not my will by thine". He died in submitting,
but was raised up glorious and rescued all of mankind in his
submission. It takes maturity to walk in submission in all our areas
of life, but the goal is worth the sacrifice. By submitting to our
husbands we are put in a higher spiritual realm. We are protected from
the adversary and the 1/3 of the angels who are assigned to deceive
1 Cor 7:10-16
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13
And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But
God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
Here is an important area that has been pretty much forgotten in the world
of believers. I will leave those of you in this situation to meditate
and seek the face of God to know what you are to do.
Here are 10 practical things I did and do when I find my husband (or
myself) in unbelief.
Get in the word looking for MY responsibilities as a wife to my
hubbie and a daughter of God.
Pray in the spirit after I read and meditate on the scriptures I find.
God speaks mysteries to me when I pray in the spirit. I need God's
Make a list of what I'm believing for myself and for my husband. I call
my husband; high priest of our home, faithful, loving, loyal, pure hearted,
single minded towards God, and whatever else I see I want from the
word. I do the same for myself.
Use my list for prayer and for confession/profession time. Confession
is more than just confessing sins, it is time when we confess the things we
believe in the word. (Yeshua is the High Priest of our confessions.)
Never allow strife to separate my hubbie and I. I'd rather say
"I'm wrong" when I'm not than allow the evil spirit of strife
in. "Where there is envy and strife there is confusion and every
Remind myself that I don't wrestle against flesh and blood (hubbie) but
against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness in
the heavenly realms.
Remind myself that my faith works by my love. If I get out of
love my prayers aren't answered. Yuck.
Do special things for my husband when I'm angry. It pacifies the
situation and keeps the dialog open. Oh yes, the best thing is that it really makes the devil
Bite my tongue when I'm tempted to say anything contrary to my love
walk and faith.
Cast down empty thoughts and ideas like: divorce, separation, adultery,
fornication, retribution, revenge, perversion, or any other thing the
adversary tries to present to me.