Unbelieving Hubbies

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So you have a husband who hasn't the least desire to serve God.  Perhaps your husband is a believer but is involved in things you know by the word are ungodly.  What can you do?  First realize there are answers and they are all based upon love.  I know women who start out in a marriage loving their husbands, but allow a root of bitterness to creep in because their husbands aren't the "dream dates" they thought they'd won.  I also know women who married to escape less than desirable conditions at home.  Then there is the lost woman who marries a lost man and then she receives the L-rd.  All of these are hard situations, but not impossible.  The word "with God nothing is impossible" works in every case!  Ideally we find the man that God wants, or he finds us and we marry and live lives of righteousness.  Ok, now that we've dealt with fantasy we can go onto reality.  Even in the best relationships there are problems, but the same answers that save good marriages can save not-so-good marriages. 

When my husband and I went through our rockiest years I discovered by time in the word and with the Father that I needed to take part in my marriage.  Marriage isn't a passive spectator sport, you have to get in and play the game to get the final cup.  You may have to watch a few football games, you may have to visit hardware stores, you may have to fish in rain with mosquitoes as your closest companions, you may even have to take the kids to events alone and even deal with surgery alone.  Some women are blessed to have husbands who are part of their lives in every aspect, others prefer to do things alone from time to time.  Whatever the case, there are loads of adjustments and compromises that have to be made in marriage relationships.  By making the decision to do the things the word commands and suggests, we can build our homes as wise women of God.

Big Tip:  TV, Hollywood, the movies are all fantasy, fake, not real and only "based" on real life.  DO NOT believe everything you see or hear on that "boob tube" (as my dad always calls it).  TV is for amusement, and one definition of amusement is "entertainment without the mind."  Most of the world of media is an attempt to sell you what they believe you want or need.  It's based upon the love of money and we as believers in Yeshua are to love God and not love money.  Money is a tool, and we should no more love it than we would love a spatula or hammer.

 1 Peter  3:1  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 

  • I've had to put this one into practice in my home over and over.  Women hear from God and when they do, they may discover that their husbands don't believe what they have learned.  By taking your "discovery" to the Father and staying silent, we can win our husbands over to the Lord.  Many women believe they should teach their husbands new spiritual truths, but I find no place in God's word that instructs women to teach their hubbies.  If a man is listening to his wife he can't hear God.  I for one want my husband to hear God and direct the steps of our home.

  • This scripture not only belongs to husbands who are saved, but to ones who are not saved.  By saved, I mean those who believe in Yeshua and his life, death and resurrection.  If you are married to an unbeliever, you really need to put this scripture into practice.  There are many things you can do as a believing wife, because you never know when your husband may receive the correction of God and turn to him!  Silence is truly golden, if you act on what you read in the word.  There is an actual language of silence.  When done purposefully it can change your situation.  When God instructs us to be silent, it is for our benefit.  So learn to put this new "language" into practice.

  • Subjection or submission isn't the awful thing that you think it is.  Submission to God's word and His will will put you into a higher realm "spiritually speaking".  Submission is recognizing that God had a plan by creating man and taking woman from man.  His plan wasn't to make us subordinate, but to be partners in taking dominion of this planet. Yeshua showed us the power of submission by submitting to the will of God.  He laid down his life, his plan, to even speaking his own words and took up God's will and God's plan.  We see him in the garden of Gethsemane "not my will by thine".  He died in submitting, but was raised up glorious and rescued all of mankind in his submission.  It takes maturity to walk in submission in all our areas of life, but the goal is worth the sacrifice.  By submitting to our husbands we are put in a higher spiritual realm.  We are protected from the adversary and the 1/3 of the angels who are assigned to deceive us.  

1 Cor 7:10-16
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife? NKJV

  • Here is an important area that has been pretty much forgotten in the world of believers.  I will leave those of you in this situation to meditate and seek the face of God to know what you are to do.  

 

Here are 10 practical things I did and do when I find my husband (or myself) in unbelief.

  1. Get in the word looking for MY responsibilities as a wife to my hubbie and a daughter of God.

  2. Pray in the spirit after I read and meditate on the scriptures I find. God speaks mysteries to me when I pray in the spirit.  I need God's counsel.  

  3. Make a list of what I'm believing for myself and for my husband. I call my husband; high priest of our home, faithful, loving, loyal, pure hearted, single minded towards God, and whatever else I see I want from the word.  I do the same for myself.

  4. Use my list for prayer and for confession/profession time. Confession is more than just confessing sins, it is time when we confess the things we believe in the word. (Yeshua is the High Priest of our confessions.)

  5. Never allow strife to separate my hubbie and I.  I'd rather say "I'm wrong" when I'm not than allow the evil spirit of strife in.  "Where there is envy and strife there is confusion and every evil work."

  6. Remind myself that I don't wrestle against flesh and blood (hubbie) but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness in the heavenly realms.

  7. Remind myself that my faith works by my love.  If I get out of love my prayers aren't answered.  Yuck.

  8. Do special things for my husband when I'm angry.  It pacifies the situation and keeps the dialog open.  Oh yes, the best thing is that it really makes the devil mad!  

  9. Bite my tongue when I'm tempted to say anything contrary to my love walk and faith.

  10. Cast down empty thoughts and ideas like: divorce, separation, adultery, fornication, retribution, revenge, perversion, or any other thing the adversary tries to present to me.