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The world preaches "self esteem", but the believer should base his/her self-worth on the basis of what God has said about him/her. Part of the problem we face when we're dissatisfied with self, is that no matter how "good" you do, it's never "good enough".  The bible teaches that "godliness with contentment is great gain" and this really applies to self.  Creating contentment is a work of faith.  You don't necessarily feel or look your best, but you speak contentment by faith knowing words are seeds.  If you sow seeds of discontentment you will reap discontentment.  If you sow words of contentment, you will reap contentment.  Then you begin to speak what the bible says about you.  "I am the righteousness of  God in Messiah", "I can do all things through Messiah which strengtheneth me" and so on.  

This is not to say that we shouldn't endeavor to improve self, but to always be content with where we are at the time so that the goal doesn't become unreachable.

Let's look at how the world judges women.  First you will notice that it's always the external woman that they focus on first.  "Be thin", "Look sexy", "Get rid of unsightly hair" and the list goes on.  So some young man marries a woman who is thin, sexy and has no unwanted unsightly hair, but she has no character, no strength.  In no time the woman is obsessed with keeping herself thin, sexy and free of hair.  Her husband takes a back burner to all her external obsessions.  God through the apostles and other men and godly women spoke of the virtuous woman, and proclaimed that beauty is fleeting and vain, but a woman of character was one a man could trust in.  

Our focus should be on the internal spirit of self.  We are spirits, we have minds (souls) and we live in bodies.  Focusing primarily on the temporary dwelling place we call the body is rather fruitless.  We fool ourselves if we think the aging process isn't going to take its toll.  At the same time if we totally focus on the soul or the mind, will and emotions we do our spirit-man and body a disservice.  There is a perfect order, and it comes out in 3 John 2 "Beloved, I pray above all things that thou may prosper and be in health even as thy soul prospers".  Here is the perfect order.  Let me illustrate.

 I will add things to this page as I am lead by the Holy Spirit.  

  • Power Up.  The first priority of every woman should be time alone with the Father in the word, in prayer and in fasting. The jobs of wife and mother require more than just talents and knowledge.  They require that the spirit-man be fed.  We are spirit, we have a soul (mind, will and emotions) and we live in a body.  If you don't feed your spirit, your soul or body will take the pre-eminence and cause problems.  We were created to have dominion on this planet, and this huge task can not be done by either thought (will power) or by bodily strength alone.  The spiritual woman keeps her spirit fed and allows the Holy Spirit to rule and reign over emotions and over the body. 

     

    • Emotions such as anger, fear, sorrow, grief, despair, and any other negative expressions of mind, will or emotions have to be controlled by the Holy Spirit ruling and reigning in our lives.  This takes time and discipline.  When negative thoughts seek to overthrow your spiritual thoughts (thoughts in line with God's word) you need to resist them.  I speak to thoughts of fear and say "I resist you fear".  In the beginning it seemed that I was saying this more than just about anything, but today fear doesn't have much of a chance in my thought life. Emotions are natural expressions of the body and soul. They will "naturally" come out depending upon your situations.  As a spirit lead believer our spirit should have superiority.  Expressions of spirit are called "fruit of the spirit".  We are told in Galatians 5:22-23 that the fruit of the spirit is "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control."   When a person's spirit is in charge rather than his/her soul or body the expression of his/her spirit will be these things.  It takes practice, discipline to develop your spirit self.  Your flesh has had control more years than your spirit self, so you in effect have to retrain your senses.  When you want to thump a person for treating you poorly, the fruits of the spirit of spirit of longsuffering, self-control and love can help you overcome the desire to "react."
    • Your body:  You should remember that your body is like an earth suit.  Without it you would have no authority/dominion to live on this planet.  When you slough it you will leave this planet.  We are told (Romans 12) to make our bodies living sacrifices as a reasonable service to God.  A rudimentary study of sacrifices in the Tanakh will give you a deeper understanding of what is required of a "living" sacrifice. Isaiah 53 tells us that Yeshua was a sacrifice and gives a really good picture of how to present your body.  Too many of us let our "earth suits" speak.  Whether in appetite or in pain, our bodies have way too much say in how we conduct our everyday lives.  Our flesh is enmity with our spirit person and is subject to the spirit.  Your flesh can be retrained to take it's subordinate place with discipline and time with the Father.
    • Your mind:  Just because you're out of school and married or dedicated to the Lord doesn't  mean you should quit growing.  3 John 2 says "Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers". NKJV  Your soul is made up of your mind, will and emotions.  If your soul doesn't grow you can't prosper and your can't be in health.  The first way to expand your mind is to read the word and meditate on what it says.  Then you look for ways to do what it says.  We're also told that we're to guard our hearts.  Your heart is your spirit.  Many people will read anything, or watch anything that comes on TV.  We have the freedom in Yeshua, but not everything is good for us.   Let me illustrate again.  Let's say you're believing to be free of fear.  You speak the word, you trust God, you love your neighbor and you shun sin, but you watch every news broadcast that comes on.  Oh yes, your favorite TV programs are about policemen, firemen, crime fighters of every kind and maybe a mystery or two thrown in for good measure. The next thing you know you have a new fear in a new area and no matter how much faith you exert, it seems fruitless.  You've simply overthrown your faith with too much time dedicated to your desire to watch TV.  "Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh".  You've filled your thoughts with one thing and are trying to speak something else.   No success.  This is where fasting comes in.  Fasting can be food, fasting can be doing without anything that has too much control over YOU.  You use your spirit to discipline your mind and body.  Fasting is "Just saying NO".
    • Is there something YOU do that might help a sister struggling with self issues? Share them here: proverbialwoman7@aol.com