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Virtuous Women
Table of Contents
Instruction Book
About Jeff & I
Belarus Mission
Prayer Requests
Total Failure ?







There was a time when divorce was almost unheard of in the Body of Christ, but today that is no longer true.  It is my opinion (notice it is my opinion for whatever it is worth) that divorce would be forgotten among believers if they understood marriage in its purest form.  First we must acknowledge that marriage was created by Father God.  If we take the time to look at the first marriage we have to go to the "time" when Adam was all by himself on the planet.  Sure there were animals everywhere, but not another creation like himself.  God said that it was not good for man to be alone in the job He had assigned him. 

Man's initial purpose was to destroy the works of the adversary.  1 John 3:8 He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. KJV  God also gave Adam (His first son) the job of naming the animals, tending the Garden of Eden, replenishing the earth, being fruitful and multiplying.  God put Adam into a deep sleep and created woman using Adam's flesh and bone.  God didn't use the dirt from which he formed Adam's body, he used Adam himself.  The breath of life or His Spirit had already been imparted to Adam, so God didn't breathe His breath into Eve a second time as a second human creation.  Eve came out from Adam, but she was always in him.  Gen 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. KJV  

The whole thing about marriage is two being separated becoming one flesh. That is why marriage is impossible between anyone other than male and females.  Marriage is a picture of the completion of one "man". 

Now let's look at what divorce does.  Imagine a can of red paint and a can of white paint.  We pour them into one larger can and begin the "marrying" process.  Can you ever effectively remove the red from the white? NO. Some part of each will be permanently bonded to the other.  No matter how hard you try to remove the white from the red it is impossible. 

After being married for over 28 years (good years and bad years) I can honestly say I can't imagine not spending a single day thinking of my husband.  We finish each other's thoughts.  When the adversary is tempting and taunting my husband I am affected. When I am being taunted my husband knows it.  I can feel the temptations coming against him though he is out of my sight and many miles away. He does the same for me. When my husband was electrocuted and killed in 1993 I knew something was happening.  I called him just seconds after he had come back into his body.  I knew something had touched him.  We know each other's likes, wants, hopes, dreams and way of doing things.  We are the finishing of each other.  The stirring of our "colors" has been difficult and jolting at times, but we are becoming one glorious color rather than two separate colors.  We are forever joined by the commitment we made before God and man.  That doesn't mean we didn't have really hard trials.  Our daughter was born with birth defects.  Our son died at two months of age.  My husband had his back broken in an industrial accident.  My husband fell to the temptation of adultery.  I because gravely ill with no help from medical assistance.  My husband worked for a very difficult man who demanded more of him than any employer he'd ever known.  My husband was electrocuted and killed by receiving 19,600 volts of electricity into his body, but God raised him up without medical assistance.  With all that has happened we got through it all by being for each other.  We made a decision to be dedicated to the best good for each other.  It couldn't be about what we could get from one another.  As soon as "me, myself or I" becomes an issue in a marriage there will be trouble.

We are aware that we will have to stand for our marriage until the day we go home to be with the Father.  We know we are in a battle and the devil would like to divide and conquer us.  We are twice as powerful in unity than we could ever be alone.  We work for each other.  We had to make the decision to NEVER use the word divorce in our lives.  It's not an option.  We protect our union.  We know that selfish thoughts have to be put down daily.  It's not about me, it's not about him, it's about accomplishing the will of God.  He has manifested us to destroy the works of the devil.  We can't be distracted by the low level issues that used to come against our union.  Now we teach and encourage others to do as much. 

Marriage is about love.  God is love.  Love never fails, therefore marriage based upon God's definition of himself NEVER FAILS!  As soon as any married couple gets into a selfish mode divorce isn't too far behind. 

The Unbelieving Spouse and Divorce

We have biblical precedent for divorce in certain cases (the case of adultery and unbelieving spouse leaving), but it is my dream that this too could be eradicated.  How? By the believing spouses to stand for the lost spouses just like the believing ones must stand for their believing husbands/wives.  Christians are much too wishy washy, compromising, self-centered and soft.  It's time for us to realize we've committed to God to become living sacrifices.  We aren't our own.  We are in an all out war with the adversary and we have to endure hardness like good soldiers.  God never promised rose gardens or play days in the kingdom on earth.  He said we would have tribulation.  He promised us that we would suffer affliction, persecution, and even give our lives for Him.  He told us we had an adversary who was a killer, a thief and a destroyer.  He told us to take up our cross daily and follow Him.  No, there are no air conditioned, upholstered crosses.  There are only rough hewn, splintering, ghastly crosses. 

What's at risk here?  If you are a believing spouse and your husband or wife is lost what's at risk?  I'll tell you.  Their souls are at risk.  Some of you married and both of you were lost at the time.  Because of God's grace you somehow heard the gospel and received it. Others  of you married lost folks thinking you could "save them".  Either way you have a lost, unregenerate spouse who is basically deaf, dumb and blind to spiritual things.  He or she can't see, hear or understand the things you now hold so precious.  Your heart's desire should be for him/her to receive God.  The hard thing is that chances are good that you won't be the messenger of life for him/her.  Your most successful efforts will be in living the love of God before them and towards them.  You are basically nothing  more than a door for him/her to see into the kingdom of God.  Now mind you the adversary owns your spouse lock, stock and barrel.  He uses him/her at his own pleasure.  He drops into him/her whenever it is convenient and stirs up trouble.  You had no idea when you said your VOWS that the devil would ultimately harass you by using this person, the joy of your life as a weapon. It even seems like the more you show love to him/her the worse things get.  That's because the adversary is scared of your affect upon this person. He hates to give up even one human body or soul. He has no power without a human to work through. 

When my husband was in the devil's prisoner of war camp the Lord asked me this: "If you were in your husband's shoes how long would you want him to stand for you".  Of course my answer was "Forever", and that is what I was willing to do.  Because I was willing to endure to the end of my life, it didn't take an eternity for his deliverance to manifest.  Ultimately it was his decision to repent and chose God's will.  I was a door for him to see the light of God's love.  Once the door was open, it was completely up to him which side he would choose.

That is one part of the equation that is tough.  We all have free will.  It is ultimately up to us whether we're going to trust God, obey Him and live according to His will.  I had to realize that and still be willing to stand no matter what. 

I hope these words will help you make a decision to stand for your spouse like the Lord stands and stood for his bride.  We may not look like that bride, all spotless and without wrinkle, but that's how he sees us.  He sees through eyes of love and faith.  He doesn't allow anything else be the plumb line, but the word of God. 

Success as you stand and walk in love for your spouse.


Cerise Welter

You can reach me for prayer at proverbialwoman7@aol.com